


Judgement

by CandyCrackpot



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen, Tragedy, along with some pain, enjoy, i'm about to drop a headcanon on you, i'm stirring up even more confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyCrackpot/pseuds/CandyCrackpot
Summary: Cross thinks he's the one in control. He's gravely mistaken. The Reaper comes for him.





	Judgement

**Author's Note:**

> I was playing with the what ifs again when this idea struck me and I just had to put it down. It laid in my folders for longer time that I'd like to admit, but at least I can say that I like how it turned out. Please review and tell me if it's good.

Drizzling rain droplets hit the cool window mutely, not disturbing the two figures and the tense silence between them in the lusciously decorated room. Maroon eyes glared daggers at the apathetic green ones that held him at gunpoint. The bastard managed to make his Innocence abandon him, moreover, he forced Judgement to fire when he gave the sign; the familiar weapon that had served him for so long was turned against him.

Cross Marian always hated small talks so he got to the point immediately. "It's unusual of you to show your face." He knew he was short on time, he could almost feel death breathe down on his neck - _it's just the wind_ , he tried to convince himself. The soft chimes of the grandfather clock didn't disturb the events.

His attacker didn't like pleasantries either and didn't bother with offering one. "Cross Marian, do tell me, what caused you to waver? You could step over the corpse of your Master and use her as a puppet. What made you falter?"

Sharp eyes narrowed behind red rimmed glasses; he didn't understand much of his current situation; he failed to see the context, why had the Guardian of the Heart came for him? No, he knew why; but still, why _now_ of all times? It was a mystery, an enigma, an unsolved puzzle that taunted him; all the necessary pieces were there, scattered around in a random order, wordlessly urging him to put them together and mocking him for being unable to see the big picture. Despite how short he was on time, he had no choice but to go along with the Cardinal's wishes.

"Maria wanted me to live, in her last moments she bound herself to me so she could protect me even in death. It was her choice, you know that too, you moron." Despite the cold metal digging into his masked face he still didn't let go of his cheekiness.

A piece was found and slipped into its respectful place, but if possible, it made the image hazier, only the soft tick tocks could phase through it.

"Then is it about the Dark Boots girl?" Came the next prying question.

Another piece got fit into its respectful slot, yet it still wasn't enough.

He didn't refrain from rolling his eyes. "Leaving her there would have been worse, the Akuma that killed her parents almost eradicated the whole village, if I didn't take her to the Order, she and a lot other people around her would have died left and right. It put her through hell, but at least she and people around her were safe. Why don't you ask what you really want to know?"

Despite his demand, his captor didn't relent. "Is that guilt of yours is the reason why you helped the supervisor to his position? How sentimental of you."

Another one clicked to place. The clock ticking was hypnotic, he didn't notice it leading him down on the path of annihilation.

"What good comes from an Exorcist that isn't even willing to fight?" he deadpanned. "I just gave her the proper motivation. Now we're even."

"And yet you were still restless, seeing that she was saved by her Innocence." the Cardinal pointed out, handing over yet another useless piece. "The same way the Count was. Did you perhaps feel sorry for giving him that flower that held the Innocence?"

Cross shrugged lightly. "It couldn't be helped, he would have been targeted by the Earl sooner or later, if anything I gave him the key to save himself. Besides, Rosanne kept biting that idiot, trying to get within him to join the Innocence already within him… But the other parasyte within him stopped her from doing so."

Another fragment fit into place, yet still nothing; he glanced at the bits of informations, putting them together, twisting them in his mind like a Rubik's Cube - which was pretty insulting, since he could solve the damn thing in a matter of seconds, but the point of this matter escaped him. Over the rattling of the cube he could faintly hear clock ticking.

But he could feel it. He was on the right track, he was just before the finish line, the last quiz.

The other cocked his head to the side, as if wondering about something. "Allen, huh? In the end all threads lead back to that boy."

_**XXX** _

_A small child sitting in the snow, like a broken, discarded doll as the cold invaded him in exchange of the life seeping out of his facial wound. A curse was carve into his soul to witness his sin, and another less subtle one that bestowed on him the same fate as Mana's._

_**XXX** _

An ominous feeling washed over Cross as he felt the shift of atmosphere from contemning to dangerously possessive; the clock ticking got louder and unnerving.

This was it, the key to all this. The fact that his assaulter referred to his apprentice on his name, unlike the others, was a clear sign that he wanted something from the boy. The warning bells blared in his mind. "What do you want from the brat?" He all but growled.

He scowled seeing his attacker's lips twitch upwards, his eyes glittering with something akin to amusement and dare he say, _fondness_. "Nothing really. It's just amazing that he grew into what he is now under _your_ hands."

_No._

Unforgiving fury boiled up within his veins to the other's delight. "What. The fuck. Do you want. From the brat?" Cross repeated hissing, accenting every word.

He wanted to shoot the fucktard in the face at the cocky look he sent him, but he couldn't since presently _he_ was the one at gunpoint, he was powerless to order the other around.

_**XXX** _

_Being born with an Anti-Akuma weapon he had no choice but to seek out and destroy Akuma._

_Tim had confirmed to his shock that this boy was the host of the Fourteenth._

_The boy was to live as an Exorcist until the day he disappeared._

_He was bound by fate, trapped between the two sides until ceased to be, until he was eaten up alive to give way to Neah._

_Just like an Akuma._

_**XXX** _

"You always kept him at distance, knowing the fate befalling on him sooner or later as the host of the 14th. Who would have thought he'd be your downfall?" The Independent Innocence paused regarding Cross' scorching eyes with glee. Cross could swear that the clock ticking got more frequent.

_**XXX** _

" _There is no freedom for the person trapped in the Akuma."_

_**XXX** _

"You kept telling yourself that it's for a greater good, yet you still want to save him… which is truly admirable." His pleasant mood vanished just as fast as it came, giving place to boiling rage and hatred. "However you and I both know that you won't." The ticking seemed aggressive.

_**XXX** _

" _You're trapped and become the Earl's toy for eternity."_

_**XXX** _

He made a pact with the Fourteenth; he promised to look after Mana until he returned.

_**XXX** _

" _There's no other way to help it but by destroying it."_

_**XXX** _

"For the first time in your life you are conflicted."

_**XXX** _

_He huddled in the same position, unmoving, unseeing, unresponsive until his face was touched, then he screamed until he lost his voice. He had a feeling that it wasn't only the physical pain that made the boy scream._

_**XXX** _

That was the reason why he nursed the brat himself and not just dump him at the Order, where'd he'd get brainwashed into blind obedience-

_**XXX** _

_Any other time he was silent, deadly silent, as if waiting his own demise._

_**XXX** _

"You want to convince yourself that this needs to be done because you can't choose between your promise and the boy."

_**XXX** _

" _You really loved Mana that much?"_

_**XXX** _

He had sacrificed his Master along with many, many others. He had lost too many people. But with just one, just this ONE sacrifice and it would be over, this nightmare would finally end.

_**XXX** _

_Just like the day they met for the third time, the boy- no, the young man hung his head low, as if he wanted to disappear._

_**XXX** _

He didn't care if the people he used hated him, if they wanted him dead; he was the one who manipulated them like the broken dolls they were, he didn't expect forgiveness.

He just picked up another broken doll, held him together with pins and duct tape so he at least returned to be functional even though he was still broken. As his tasks required him to do so, he puppeted that doll. But…

_**XXX** _

" _When Mana said he loved me… did he mean me? Or…?"_

_**XXX** _

Even if he used them, if he took from them, he always gave something in return. But not Allen. He just kept taking and stealing from the boy and he couldn't give anything back in return. He kept stripping the boy of everything he had, his freedom, his future, his sanity and he- he only smiled that sad, sad smile in return, that twisted the heart of the most ruthless men. Before his eyes he could see him give him that smile for the last time, then give way to the darkness that dwelled within him. He could almost see the arms of time wrapped around the boy, slowly trapping him, squeezing him _and tick tock tick-tock ticktock-_ .

XXX

" _The memories will slowly erode the host-"_

XXX

One day, he realised that he didn't want this to happen. He wanted to see him smile from the bottom of his heart. He found himself yearning for a future where Allen was there, where they could keep staying teacher and discipline. A future where Allen could be happy.

XXX

" _-and eventually turn you to the 14th."_

XXX

But that future didn't exist. One day Allen would be gone. The process already started, there was no going back now. Any time now Neah would be staring back at him.

The heart he fought have died screamed at him, urged him, _begged_ him to save Allen, even though he knew it was impossible, inevitable. It needed to be done, without Neah this war won't end.

The ticking noises were punches assaulting his conscience.

But-

_The broken child staring into nothingness, wishing that he could disappear into nothingness._

No.

_Those tears that finally awoke him from a nightmare into another one._

Don't.

_Those dull gray eyes, staring in the distance, searching, always searching for that broad back, for that loving smile._

Stop.

_That tear-stained face that forced himself to smile despite the constant pain he felt, a pain that never disappeared._

A train rattled its way into the room with its deafening wheezing- No, it was only that damn clock, reminding him, mocking him-

_Those fickle moments when he could leave this sorrow behind to give room to a little happiness._

Enough already. Enough with the pain, enough with this hellish noise!

_Those nights when he sobbed from those vivid nightmares._

He knew. Of course he knew. He tried to stop it.

_That empty look get slowly getting filled with life._

He couldn't. No one could save Allen. No one _can_.

 _That betrayed look when he realised it's all been for_ _**nothing** _ _._

But there was simply _**no other way**_!

Cross almost jumped out of his skin when the clock screamed his judgement in the night. The judge who strayed off his path was the one judged. His reaper was ready to carry out his punishment. He must Fall.

He deserved it though. It was so much like him to fail saving the people he loved the most.

"Your heart and the Heart no longer match."

He failed. No, he simply _gave up._ There was simply no way he could choose. He lost his strength to keep going forward. He realised bitterly, he wasn't as strong as that boy.

_I'm sorry, Allen._

"Cross Marian, even though you command the Heart of Innocence; you betrayed its wishes, you betrayed Allen. Your ownership will be revoked and handed over to him, your memories will be altered in order to leave Allen behind."

While the General Expected the the latter, he did not expect the former. How come he won't get killed or become a Fallen one? But more importantly… "He won't be able to handle it," he whispered, not realising the dread lining his voice "Two Innocence is too much, with the Noah within him he will go insane and die in agony."

The monster, disguised as a human pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. "That's why I'm here." Cross' eyes widened in realisation. "Crowned Clown and I will sacrifice ourselves to suppress the Noah, this way the Heart can claim Allen and like that he can preserve his position as ours."

 _Ours._ The Innocence still didn't let go of Allen. It wanted to quelch the last droplets of his essence out of him. Cross' mouth pulled into a disgusted scowl at the thought. "That's the fucking same as letting him get devoured by Neah!" Cross snapped, not bothering to keep his voice down, no one would come, everyone in earshot was knocked out, their memories erased.

The other shook his head. "No, there _is_ a difference, Allen will be put in a deep sleep, he won't disappear, once we've won he can return to the Spiral of Life. He won't have to helplessly struggle in the Fourteenth's grasp in despair and have a fate more horrible than any death. He can return to be simply 'Allen'. Come to think of it, this scene should be a déja vu to you." The Cardinal mused. "Seeing that this is the exact way how you met Allen for the second time."

_Allen._

Realisation stuck the General as the choice of words resonated through his skull, recalling a half-forgotten memory he failed to drown in alcohol.

_**XXX** _

" _Kid, what's your name?"_

_**XXX** _

" _You're called Allen?"_

" _No." The child turned away from him, muttering barely audibly. "Not a dog."_

" _If it's not your name then forget it."_

_**XXX** _

" _Listen up, brat. Don't get too close to Mana."_

_**XXX** _

_His breathing was irregular. Almost. He was so close to fulfilling that promise, but- "You stinking brat!"_

_The child, frozen by fear could only stare back at him with wide, scared silver eyes._

" _Told you not to get close to Mana, didn't I?_ "

_Before he could shoot Tim stopped him._

_**XXX** _

To this day he still doesn't know whether he would have really pulled the trigger.

To this day he still doesn't know whether Tim stopped him because he didn't want him to kill or he didn't want Neah's host to die.

He had a feeling he'd never find out.

_**XXX** _

" _Don't forget."_

_**XXX** _

" _This is all because of you."_

_**XXX** _

All pieces of the missing puzzle fell into place.

The arms of the clock stopped moving.

He fucked up. Not Allen, but him. The Allen he searched and the Allen he found-

"You knew." Cross whispered in shock. "You fucking knew…" He thought he was the one in control. "All along." It seems he was the one manipulated.

But it was already too late.

His lips twisted into a grin. "The first time we met he wasn't called Allen." He was a fucking idiot. How didn't he realise it sooner?

He laughed out loud as he glared defiantly into the green eyes of the Independent Innocence. Even if his time was up, it seemed that Allen still had some. He only hoped the boy would notice it before it was too late.

"Should have noticed the mistake sooner."

A single gunshot resounded in the silent night.


End file.
